Episode 279
The 10 Unspoken Laws of Trust
Episode 279 of The Business Development Podcast, The 10 Unspoken Laws of Trust, dives deep into the unseen foundation behind every successful relationship, deal, and opportunity: trust. Kelly explores how trust shapes human behavior, why it’s not automatic despite being essential to society, and the ten unspoken laws that quietly govern how we build and maintain it. From honesty and reciprocity to fairness, accountability, and transparency, this episode uncovers the hidden social and biological frameworks that make trust the cornerstone of business and life.
In the second half, Kelly breaks down how to intentionally build trust in business development using five powerful steps rooted in human psychology. He explains how safety, consistency, competence, empathy, and follow-through work together to calm the brain’s natural defense system and open the door to real connection. The result is a masterclass on transforming reliability into loyalty — and why, in a world full of noise, predictability and authenticity are the ultimate business advantage.
Key Takeaways:
1. Trust is the silent force that drives every deal, relationship, and opportunity in business development—it’s the real currency behind every transaction.
2. Society relies on trust to function, but it’s not automatic because our biology evolved to protect us before it connects us.
3. Words and promises form the foundation of trust; when they’re broken, the entire system of communication and reliability collapses.
4. Fairness, accountability, and reciprocity are natural laws of trust that make cooperation possible and keep relationships stable.
5. Predictability is the cornerstone of trust—when people know what to expect, their fear response quiets and loyalty forms.
6. Transparency builds safety; secrecy breeds suspicion. Sharing your process and progress openly earns long-term confidence.
7. Reputation is trust’s shortcut—each fulfilled promise becomes proof of credibility and a signal to others that you’re dependable.
8. Trust isn’t built on perfection, but on consistency; reliability over time is what transforms confidence into loyalty.
9. To earn trust faster, focus on emotional safety, consistency, competence, empathy, and follow-through in every interaction.
10. The goal of business development isn’t to persuade—it’s to help the human nervous system decide, “I’m safe with you,” because that’s when opportunity.
We’re proud to be finalists in the 2025 Signal Awards — the only Canadian 🍁 and independent show in the Business category!
If The Business Development Podcast has ever inspired or helped you, please take a moment to vote for us in the People’s Choice Awards. Every vote shows that passion and authenticity still win.
Transcript
Welcome to episode 279 of the Business Development Podcast.
Speaker A:And today we're talking all about trust.
Speaker A:It's the silent force behind every deal, every relationship, and every opportunity.
Speaker A:Yet it's the one thing most people overlook.
Speaker A:You can have the best product, the best pitch, and even the best price.
Speaker A:But without trust, nothing moves.
Speaker A:Today, we're unpacking how trust really works, why it's not automatic, and how to build it intentionally, both in business and in life.
Speaker A:Stick with us, you're not going to want to miss this episode.
Speaker B:The great Mark Cuban once said, business happens over years and years.
Speaker B:Value is measured in the total upside of a business relationship, not by how much you squeezed out in any one deal.
Speaker B:And we couldn't agree more.
Speaker B:This is the Business Development Podcast, based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, and broadcasting to the world.
Speaker B:You'll get expert business development advice, tips and experiences.
Speaker B:And you'll hear interviews with business owners, CEOs and business development reps. You'll get actionable advice on how to grow business brought to you by Capital Business Development capitalbd ca.
Speaker B:Let's do it.
Speaker B:Welcome to the Business Development Podcast.
Speaker B:And now your expert host, Kelly Kennedy.
Speaker B:Hello.
Speaker A:Welcome to episode 279 of the Business Development Podcast.
Speaker A:And today I want to start the episode by thanking each of you for the immense outpouring of support that we have received for the Signal Awards.
Speaker A:Guys, it absolutely melts my heart.
Speaker A:There's just one more day left to vote and we are currently in fourth place.
Speaker A:We are the only independent show in the business category.
Speaker A:We are the only Canadian show in the business category.
Speaker A:Every other show, guys, is part of a billion dollar network and it is an honor and a privilege to be up there with them in that top 10.
Speaker A:If you haven't voted yet, you have until Thursday, I believe, to get that vote in.
Speaker A:But it closes on the ninth, guys, and we need that support.
Speaker A:So if you haven't voted yet and you're looking for a way to support our show, your show, please do.
Speaker A:Please give us a vote in the Signal Awards for People's choice for the Business Development Podcast.
Speaker A:All of the links are in the show notes for this episode and across LinkedIn.
Speaker A:And I could really, really, really, really use the support of our Rockstar community and to help us to hopefully inch up into that third place.
Speaker A:We're currently sitting in fourth.
Speaker A:Honestly, guys, it's incredible that we're even finalists, let alone in fourth place.
Speaker A:So I appreciate it immensely.
Speaker A:We would not be here without you.
Speaker A:We would not be here without the Rockstar support of our community.
Speaker A:The BDP community is an incredible community and you guys never cease to amaze me with just how incredible you are, how powerful you are.
Speaker A:So thank you.
Speaker A:Thank you for all you do.
Speaker A:Thanks for supporting this show for 279 episodes.
Speaker A:It's still hard to believe, guys.
Speaker A:I still remember sitting in my basement wondering if anybody would listen to this show at all.
Speaker A: lace in the Signal Awards for: Speaker A:We wouldn't be there if you hadn't put us there.
Speaker A:So thank you so much.
Speaker A:Thank you for all you do.
Speaker A:Thank you for your support.
Speaker A:You are all freaking incredible.
Speaker A:All right, let's get into it Today.
Speaker A:I wanted to leap back into the topic of trust.
Speaker A:Trust is absolutely critical in business development.
Speaker A:We all know it.
Speaker A:It's the currency of business development.
Speaker A:Some might say it's not built through ads, automation, AI, or even clever messaging.
Speaker A:Trust is built in person through people's actions and consistency.
Speaker A:Without trust, no amount of skill, marketing or persuasion can close the gap to that buying decision.
Speaker A:Before we can get better at recognizing and building trust, we have to better understand what it is.
Speaker A:So what the heck really is trust anyways?
Speaker A:According to psychology today, trust, or the belief that someone or something can be relied upon to do what they say they will, is a key element of social relationships and a foundation of cooperation.
Speaker A:It is crucial for romantic relationships, friendships, interactions between strangers and social groups on a large scale.
Speaker A:And a lack of trust in such scenarios can come with serious consequences.
Speaker A:Indeed, society as a whole would likely fail to function in the absence of trust.
Speaker A:Trust is absolutely critical to the fabric of our society, guys.
Speaker A:Whether you know it or not, we are unconsciously and consciously trusting everything around us, or distrusting everything around us.
Speaker A:But trust is built into nearly every aspect of our lives from the moment we're born till the moment we die.
Speaker A:It is truly one of the most integral parts of humanity.
Speaker A:Society would fail to function in the absence of trust.
Speaker A:Talk about an insanely powerful statement.
Speaker A:But also a very true statement.
Speaker A:Let's explore that deeper.
Speaker A:Here are 10 unspoken rules of trust that hold our society together.
Speaker A:Number one Words mean something.
Speaker A:We subconsciously expect people to say what they mean and mean what they say.
Speaker A:Language only works because we trust others to use it honestly.
Speaker A:Without truth in words, communication collapses.
Speaker A:That's why lies hit us so hard, guys.
Speaker A:That's why Lies are so impactful and it hurts so much when we know we've been lied to.
Speaker A:It breaks like a cardinal rule of being a human.
Speaker A:Human trust is so baked in that when somebody breaks those rules, it can feel like it actually breaks us.
Speaker A:Number two, promises create obligation.
Speaker A:When someone gives their word, a promise, agreement or contract, we believe that they are bound by it.
Speaker A:This societal expectation fuels everything from marriage to business to governance.
Speaker A:Think about the importance we put on somebody's word.
Speaker A:I remember growing up in Canada and as a kid, my dad saying, kelly, your word is your bond.
Speaker A:If you say something, you have to do it, you have to live up to it.
Speaker A:And that was baked into me from a young boy.
Speaker A:And I know that that is baked into probably each and every one of you.
Speaker A:It's been reiterated over and over and over.
Speaker A:Your word is everything.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker A:Well, guess what?
Speaker A:It's actually a critical rule of society.
Speaker A:Number three, effort earns reciprocity.
Speaker A:If we act fairly, work hard and contribute, we expect others and society to respond fairly in return.
Speaker A:This belief drives collaboration and mutual respect.
Speaker A:Think about that.
Speaker A:Has anybody ever told you that if you're nice to people, people will be nice back?
Speaker A:Reciprocity, right?
Speaker A:Put out into the world what you expect to get back and it will come back for you.
Speaker A:It's not just karma, guys.
Speaker A:It's the law of reciprocity.
Speaker A:And it is once again a baked in cardinal rule of society.
Speaker A:Number four, authority must be accountable.
Speaker A:We grant power to leaders, police or institutions only because we trust that they will use it responsibly when they violate that trust.
Speaker A:Faith in systems breaks down, right?
Speaker A:The police doesn't work if you think that they're going to rob you.
Speaker A:The court systems don't work if you think that they're not going to rule fairly.
Speaker A:The whole system is based on authority.
Speaker A:Must be accountable.
Speaker A:Number five, fairness is the baseline.
Speaker A:We operate under a moral code that justice and fairness should guide interactions.
Speaker A:When the system feels unfair, trust erodes instantly.
Speaker A:Fairness is an absolutely critical factor in trust.
Speaker A:If we don't have fairness, we can't have trust.
Speaker A:When the systems feel unfair, trust ends.
Speaker A:When the deals feel unfair, trust ends.
Speaker A:Number six, vulnerability deserves protection.
Speaker A:We trust that when we open up and emotionally, financially or physically, others won't exploit it.
Speaker A:This principle underlies relationships, parenting and business ethics.
Speaker A:There is an expectation that when we are vulnerable, it will not be exploited.
Speaker A:Number seven, reputation reflects reality.
Speaker A:We rely on reputation as a shortcut for trust.
Speaker A:When someone has proven trustworthy in the past, we assume consistency.
Speaker A:It's why reviews Referrals and word of mouth are so powerful and matter so much because they can basically allow a shortcut to trust.
Speaker A:They can allow somebody else to share their trust with you.
Speaker A:That is a powerful, powerful statement and one of the most true things I've ever seen in business development.
Speaker A:The fastest way that I've ever seen to get people to make a buying decision is to have somebody that they trust recommend the product that they are looking to buy.
Speaker A:There is almost nothing that works better than that than word of mouth and shared trust.
Speaker A:It's powerful.
Speaker A:Referrals are powerful.
Speaker A:Number eight, transparency signals safety.
Speaker A:We trust people and organizations that are open about motives, processes and outcomes.
Speaker A:Secrecy breeds suspicion.
Speaker A:Openness builds confidence.
Speaker A:Let me give you a really great example of this one, guys.
Speaker A:Whenever I've had client work, I've consistently given weekly reports as to what I've done.
Speaker A:And it's not uncommon for me to spend years working with a client.
Speaker A:Why is that?
Speaker A:Why is that?
Speaker A:Because I'm absolutely open about everything that I do for them.
Speaker A:I show them every call I made, every new digital introduction, every meeting we've booked, and I do that every single week.
Speaker A:I write a end of week report, I accompany it with an Excel spreadsheet going over all of the statistics, right?
Speaker A:I share all of my work with them when I'm doing retainer work.
Speaker A:And it builds trust.
Speaker A:It builds immense trust.
Speaker A:I think there's a lot of organizations that I work for who don't know what their employees do all week.
Speaker A:But guess what?
Speaker A:They always know what Kelly did on his retainer that week.
Speaker A:That is powerful.
Speaker A:That builds trust.
Speaker A:And being transparent like that has shown them that I am a safe bet that Kelly Kennedy is a safe person to bet on.
Speaker A:Secrecy breeds suspicion wherever possible.
Speaker A:Be open.
Speaker A:It builds confidence.
Speaker A:Don't be afraid to share.
Speaker A:Don't be afraid to let people know what you're doing for them.
Speaker A:Number nine.
Speaker A:Shared values create predictability.
Speaker A:We trust those who share our moral and cultural frameworks because it helps us predict behavior.
Speaker A:People with shared values make communities stable and cooperation possible.
Speaker A:If people share your values and uphold them, you know what to expect.
Speaker A:You know that they will put in a full day's work.
Speaker A:You know that you can trust them to deliver on time.
Speaker A:You know that you can trust them to show up on time.
Speaker A:And you know that when you're in trouble, they're not going to leave your side, they're going to step up and help you.
Speaker A:That is the power of cultural frameworks.
Speaker A:That is the power of shared values.
Speaker A:Shared values create predictability and predictability is a cornerstone of trust.
Speaker A:Number 10 Consequences Keep trust honest.
Speaker A:We trust systems, legal, social or moral, to hold people accountable when they break trust.
Speaker A:Without consequences, deceit would dominate and society would decay.
Speaker A:We have to have consequences for people who break standards.
Speaker A:That's why when people are untrustworthy, other people aren't afraid to call them out for it.
Speaker A:Other people aren't afraid to share negative reviews.
Speaker A:It's like a social moral system that keeps the whole system honest.
Speaker A:That's why working on your reputation, being a good person, being authentic, being trustworthy, having good moral standards is good for business.
Speaker A:Because when you are breaking those things, people are going to talk about it.
Speaker A:There's like a moral societal obligation to call out bad actors.
Speaker A:So just be good in the first place.
Speaker A:Just be moral in the first place.
Speaker A:Be ethical off the bat.
Speaker A:Every structure that we have built as humans, from governments to marriage to markets, exists to create predictability.
Speaker A:Because predictability allows trust to exist.
Speaker A:And trust isn't built on perfection.
Speaker A:It's built on consistency.
Speaker A:How are you consistently showing up in the world week over week, month over month, year over year?
Speaker A:The brain equates predictability with safety.
Speaker A:And safety is what unlocks decisions, relationships and long term partnerships.
Speaker A:When people know what to expect from you, they stop feeling the need to guard themselves.
Speaker A:That's when business really starts to thrive.
Speaker A:Predictability builds trust because of three things.
Speaker A:Number one, the brain craves patterns.
Speaker A:When behavior is consistent, the amygdala, your fear center, relaxes, and the logical brain, your prefrontal cortex, engages.
Speaker A:Number two, unpredictability triggers caution.
Speaker A:If a client doesn't know what version of you is showing up late versus on time, over promising versus delivering.
Speaker A:Their brain stays in defensive mode if they don't know what to expect.
Speaker A:If you're not predictable, if you didn't show up to the first meeting on time, they have no reason to think you're going to show up the second time.
Speaker A:If you miss a delivery date on a project, they now assume that you're going to miss it on the regular.
Speaker A:They want to know what is predictable.
Speaker A:So you need to make sure that no matter what with your clients, that you are predictable, that you are showing up the same way each and every time, that you're early for those meetings, that you're not over promising and under delivering.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You have to make sure that we are stacking the consistency in our favor to build trust, to build reliability, and to build safety.
Speaker A:And number three, predictability equals reliability.
Speaker A:Over time, repeated reliability becomes trust and trust becomes Loyalty.
Speaker A:Clients will not always go for the best price.
Speaker A:That is the simple truth.
Speaker A:And I've seen it over and over and over again when I look at the relationships that I built in my 10 years working at Enrity, many times I sat in an office across from a client and that client would look at me and say, kelly, I got a call from your competitor this week and I just hung up on them.
Speaker A:I told them I had zero interest in working with them.
Speaker A:We were already using your company.
Speaker A:That's powerful.
Speaker A:That's the power of trust.
Speaker A:Why did they do that?
Speaker A:No, it wasn't because we were the best price.
Speaker A:It was because he knew me.
Speaker A:He knew what to expect.
Speaker A:He knew that I would show up and bend over backwards and make sure that his company was looked after before anything else.
Speaker A:And it was that.
Speaker A:It was that consistency over time.
Speaker A:They'd been clients for years.
Speaker A:They knew what to expect.
Speaker A:They knew that I was going to show up and deliver.
Speaker A:And that consistency built trust.
Speaker A:And that trust built loyalty.
Speaker A:Incredible loyalty.
Speaker A:About this point in my show notes, guys, when I was doing my research for the episode, I started asking myself, if trust is both essential and socially ingrained, why is it not automatic?
Speaker A:Why don't we just start there?
Speaker A:Why doesn't everybody just trust that when I show up with XYZ product or when you show up with X, Y, Z product to just give it a go?
Speaker A:Like, why do we have to work so hard to build trust if it's just so socially ingrained?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:It's a totally fair question and one that I was asking myself at this point as well.
Speaker A:And here's what I found, guys.
Speaker A:Trust is not automatic for one reason, and it's because survival is not automatic.
Speaker A:Humans evolved in an environment where misplaced trust could be fatal and was fatal a lot of the time.
Speaker A:Our ancestors had to assess constantly who was safe, who was lying, who was loyal and who might betray them.
Speaker A:That same survival wiring still exists today, even though the stakes are now financial or emotional instead of physical.
Speaker A:So while society teaches us to cooperate and depend on one another, our biology warns us to protect ourselves first.
Speaker A:The result is a built in tension between society and human nature.
Speaker A:Society assumes trust and your biology questions it every chance it gets.
Speaker A:That's why trust is earned, not given.
Speaker A:It's a biological safeguard that ensures we don't hand over vulnerability to the wrong person who might kill us.
Speaker A:In business, this dynamic plays out the same way.
Speaker A:A prospect wants to trust.
Speaker A:They need vendors, partners and advisors to operate, but their brain, at the very same time Is running an invisible checklist?
Speaker A:Are these guys credible?
Speaker A:Are they consistent?
Speaker A:Are they self interested or mutually invested?
Speaker A:Will I regret giving them access to my money or my reputation?
Speaker A:Every interaction either calms or activates that primitive defense mechanism.
Speaker A:Your job in business development isn't to demand trust.
Speaker A:It's to create enough evidence, predictability and emotional safety that the other person's brain decides to take the leap anyway.
Speaker A:They weigh it out and they realize that it's safer to trust you than it is to run the other way.
Speaker A:If we accept that trust is not automatic, then our job in business development is to work with the human trust system, not against it.
Speaker A:We have to work with the biological rules.
Speaker A:When we work against them, we lose.
Speaker A:Here are five powerful steps that that work within the human trust system to help you build trust faster, deeper and more successfully with your future prospects.
Speaker A:Number one, we have to create emotional safety before logic, before credibility, before anything.
Speaker A:People must feel safe with you.
Speaker A:Be calm, composed and authentic in tone and body language.
Speaker A:Remove pressure and focus on connection, not conversion.
Speaker A:Connection first through authenticity, through genuine interaction.
Speaker A:Mirror their energy and meet them where they are.
Speaker A:Remember, safety unlocks access to trust.
Speaker A:Without safety, there can be no trust.
Speaker A:Safety must come first.
Speaker A:Number two, Demonstrate reliability through consistency.
Speaker A:People trust what they can predict.
Speaker A:Every action, message and follow up should align.
Speaker A:Do what you say exactly when you say you will be consistent in tone, availability and professionalism.
Speaker A:Avoid surprises.
Speaker A:Clarity creates safety.
Speaker A:Clarity creates safety.
Speaker A:Each repetition reinforces the mental model this person delivers.
Speaker A:If we can make that what people think about you, if that can be your reputation, you will have trust everywhere you go.
Speaker A:Number three, show competence with clarity and simplicity.
Speaker A:Once people feel safe and consistent, patterns are set.
Speaker A:They look for proof that you can actually deliver on what you say.
Speaker B:When?
Speaker A:Which is the other piece of this?
Speaker A:It's not enough to just say you can do something, you have to deliver on it as well.
Speaker A:Do not promise things that you cannot do.
Speaker A:Not over promise and under deliver.
Speaker A:It is the fastest way to lose trust.
Speaker A:Always make sure that you are consistent in what you promise people and that you can actually deliver on it.
Speaker A:Explain your process clearly and transparently.
Speaker A:Simplify complex ideas into easily understandable actions.
Speaker A:Use examples and stories that mirror their world.
Speaker A:Speak to your customers in stories and examples that they can actually relate to.
Speaker A:That makes sense to them.
Speaker A:The clearer and more rational that you are, the more credible that you become.
Speaker A:Number four, Build mutual empathy and vulnerability.
Speaker A:Trust requires human connection, not perfection.
Speaker A:Listen deeply and reflect what you hear.
Speaker A:Say back to people what they say to you to show them you're listening.
Speaker A:Share personal insights or lessons learned.
Speaker A:Authenticity breeds reliability and your experience is critical and important.
Speaker A:Acknowledge their challenges sincerely.
Speaker A:Don't just brush them off.
Speaker A:Their challenges are challenges to them.
Speaker A:Always show them they matter to you too.
Speaker A:Vulnerability signals authenticity.
Speaker A:Show people you're in the fight with them.
Speaker A:It's super powerful.
Speaker A:And number five, reinforce trust through follow through.
Speaker A:Trust compounds through actions.
Speaker A:Right actions speak louder than words.
Speaker A:Every fulfilled promise adds weight to your credibility.
Speaker A:Every time you show up, it becomes who you are.
Speaker A:And that weight follows you throughout your entire career.
Speaker A:Always close the loop.
Speaker A:Report back, check in, deliver.
Speaker A:Like I said earlier on, give them the reports.
Speaker A:Let them know what's going on.
Speaker A:Keep your customers involved in what you're doing for them.
Speaker A:Keep them in the loop.
Speaker A:Show them you're doing what you said you would do.
Speaker A:Celebrate wins, admit missteps, and stay transparent.
Speaker A:Guys, I literally missed a meeting last week and I was preparing for a speech and it completely slipped my mind and I had to go back and apologize.
Speaker A:And the first thing I said was, this was 100% my fault.
Speaker A:I owned it.
Speaker A:Own your mistakes and stay transparent.
Speaker A:Once again, it creates safety and it shows that you are dependable.
Speaker A:It shows that you're somebody who's not afraid to stand up when you make a mistake.
Speaker A:Show up.
Speaker A:Live with authenticity.
Speaker A:Live with integrity, and you will live with credibility.
Speaker A:The brain updates trust continuously.
Speaker A:Each confirmation of reliability strengthens the neural pathways from skepticism to certainty.
Speaker A:Remember, at the end of the day, business development isn't about persuasion.
Speaker A:It isn't about the perfect pitch, the clever message, or even the best offer.
Speaker A:It's about trust.
Speaker A:None of those things matter if you don't have trust, too.
Speaker A:Trust is the invisible current running beneath every deal, every relationship, every, every opportunity.
Speaker A:It's not automatic because our biology protects us before it connects us.
Speaker A:People want to trust, but they need to feel safe first.
Speaker A:So if you want to build stronger partnerships, close more business and create real influence, don't chase trust, earn it.
Speaker A:Show up the same way every time.
Speaker A:Do what you say you'll do.
Speaker A:Be human, be clear, and lead with empathy.
Speaker A:Once you understand how the human trust system works, you stop trying to sell people and you start helping their nervous system decide.
Speaker A:I'm safe with you.
Speaker A:And that is where the opportunity begins.
Speaker A:And that takes us to the end of today's show.
Speaker A:Once again, Signal Awards are on.
Speaker A:There's two more days left to vote.
Speaker A:Please do hop down to the show Notes.
Speaker A:Give a vote for the business development podcast.
Speaker A:We could really use that help.
Speaker A:And if you're getting this after.
Speaker A:I would also love you guys to consider joining the Catalyst Club.
Speaker A:You can find Catalyst Club at Kelly Kennedy official.com We are the business support community that you have been waiting for.
Speaker A:Four plus events every single month.
Speaker A:A back catalog now of around 20 different recorded events that you can go back and learn lessons from.
Speaker A:It is a powerful community, it is a growing community and if you're a leader, you belong there.
Speaker A:Once again.
Speaker A:Kelly kennedyofficial.com the Catalyst Club Shout outs this week Tim Lynn, Kamal Dinar, Colin Harms, Rodney Lever, Rico Bafa, Bradley Perry, Gary Noseworthy, Peter Adams, Zach Rani, Susan Paseka, Chris Friesen, Earl Shindrak, Ewan Campbell, Vaijan Swaminathan, Tristan Keller, Rudy Zacharias, Jamie Moffatt, Adam Kimmel, Cassandra Toroin and Fred Ameya.
Speaker A:Until next time, you've been listening to the Business Development Podcast and we'll catch you on the flip side.
Speaker B:This has been the Business Development Podcast with Kelly Kennedy.
Speaker B: business development firm in: Speaker B:His passion and his specialization is in customer relationship generation and business development.
Speaker B:The show is brought to you by Capital Business Development, your business development specialists.
Speaker B:For more we invite you to the website at www.capitalbd.ca.
Speaker B:see you next time on the Business Development Podcast.
